Friday, January 20, 2017

Strong outside but weak inside

Hey sweeties and happy Friday!

I want to write about some serious stuff today, I know it isn´t always so fun but sometimes we need to allow the weaker things inside of us to come out. We can still be strong and look strong but in the inside we may be weak and not showing.

As most of you probably know I was robbed and beaten badly last year in february by a drug junkie. Last week it was finally time for me to face her in court, a moment I´ve dreaded for and been scared for. I´ve never been in a court before so the whole thing felt so scary after seeing all those dramatic american lawyer series.

I had mum and Johan with me and also my lawyer and one of the many heroes from that day, Antonia, who chased after her and tried to take back my bag and also got beaten.

It felt scary and weird to sit there facing the person who without any thought started beating me badly in my face that day, many times, while I was lying down on the ground defenceless. To tell to the court and those being there to see the hearing, my story and breaking down and crying when I told I feared for my life and has been scared to walk the streets ever since and have bad nightmares that haunt me still, was hard but had to be done.

Now after the hearing I have even worse nightmares and I am awaiting what the outcome will be, if she´ll be in prison or not. I hope for her sake and others that she will be locked away and hopefully come out from the drug abuse since it will for sure otherwise kill her.

I feel empathy for her but I also am angry since she has messed me up and I still have headaches on the side she beated me. 

What it also did was stur up an old trauma from a thing that happened me when I was 18 years old and also got attacked. I have never talked about this in public but it´s a horrible thing that changed my life and still is with me every single day.

To be attacked twice in life has made me wonder why this happens to me, but there are just no single solution to that and I cant go thinking about that cause life happens for a reason we do not know why.

I just want all of you, especially women and girls to be careful out there. If you walk alone please do not walk in dark places, be careful when someone walks close behind you, when you meet someone that looks suspicious, scream for help if you get attacked!!! That made Antonia hear me and come to the rescue and helped me get this person to the court. 

Know that there are dangerous people out there, dont be AFRAID but be CAREFUL at all times.

Love and light,
Anette


5 comments:

Charlotte Elizabeth Hall said...

I'm sorry you had to go through such a horrible situation. I'm glad you are now stronger and recovered and well done for overcoming the nerves and facing them in court. Hopefully justice is served and then you can rest easy x

Laetitia L said...

Dear Anette, what a heatbreaking text to read... But I really hope you'll feel better soon, surrounding by your husband, children, mother, family and loved ones and of course WE are still here. We love you, because you are a shiny, bright, intelligent, rare and wonderful human being. Life is hard sometimes, but what defines us, is the way we are going through these hard times. And what defines you, in addition to all I cited above, is STRENGTH. Have a wonderful day, stay strong beautiful woman <3

Sophie said...

I'm sorry this happened to you. It's very brave to write this down on your blog as well, so thank you for being so honest about how you're doing right now. Sometimes internet makes it look like everyone is in a happy place all the time, like a Pinterest lie. I hope the person gets locked away or at least forced to undergo treatment for the drug abuse and that she has to pay something for your emotional damage as extra punishment. I wish you all the best and hope that you can put this behind you, so that the nightmares end. :)

Hep-Hep Steff said...

i'm so sorry you had to go through this. my abuses are differents (a rape, an abusive father, scalped at the age of 3 and many more), but i know what it means to feel weak inside. i never recovered from all of these abuses, but i honestly hope you will. my heart and thoughts are with you, and if you need anybody to talk with, you have my email, and you could ask me for my phone number. i also hope this woman will be locked away, so she could fight her addiction and not be a danger for people. please keep us updated about the results.
i love you <3

Benedetta Baldin said...

I can only imagine how hard it's been for you. But you're strong, I know you are, and you will get through this. You have a wonderful family who loves you so much and you have a lot of fans (including me) who really wish you only the good and the best things life has to offer. So hold, you'll never be lonely ❤️